Going YOUR own way
I was listening to a podcast the other day, and it was a 'five steps to...' kind of podcast. The speaker was telling the audience how to get from one state to another state in these five simple steps.
At first I was curious to listen in, because I wondered if I might be given some miracle lesson I had never heard before, but as I started to listen more, I began to feel irritated and slightly angry at what the person was saying.
My first port of call whenever I feel this overpowering surge of emotion to something is to see if it is triggering off something in myself that I am not facing up to, is it a cold hard truth that I am denying admission of? After a little self enquiry I decided that no, it wasn't that in it's simplest form on this occasion.
After reflecting on the words this person was saying, I realised that the anger it was sparking was because this person, as an authoritative figure, was dictating a way of doing something to listeners. They were 'telling' people how to heal themselves in a way that had worked for them, and for me it made me feel like I was doing things 'wrong'.
This is not empowering, or supporting someone in gaining greater trust in themselves.
It is encouraging co dependency on another individual. It is another reminder - as if we need any more - that we should look outside of ourselves for the answers to our own questions.
It made me feel quite fiery!
I am all for sharing our lessons and the things that help and support us, that is one of the reasons I have created this blog and my Podcast, but I feel that any person of influence has a responsibility to encourage people to experience things in their own way, without being made to feel that there is a 'right' or 'wrong' way to go through something.
Providing people with tools, options and variables to explore with confidence is one thing.
TELLING people how to heal is a totally different thing. It only serves the person dictating the advice - not the person who is desperately seeking some answers.
Over the years I have given away my power countless times, hoping someone else will give me the magical answer to my own healing. The truth is - nobody else can do this other than ourselves.
And the process looks different for every single person on the planet. Because we are all unique. Of course certain methods may have similar results - for example if you are eating certain foods to heal a specific illness, or taking a medication, or doing a certain course to emotionally heal from a traumatic experience, certain elements will resonate, but the result always depends on the application that you give it, the way you embody it and the way you experience it.
And nobody else on the planet is going to feel the exact same way as you do. No matter how many times they say 'I totally understand, I have been there'.
There is a difference between someone holding space for you to heal and move in your life, and someone telling you that you should do something in a certain way.
When you are going through any transition - no matter how big or small - it is important to be aware of people around you trying to direct you down the same path as them.
Whether you are creating a business, moving forward in your life in a new way, changing your diet, shifting your exercise routine, raising your children or facing any other life evolution - there is no right or wrong way.
Let me repeat that... there is no RIGHT or WRONG way.
There is only your way.
Because here is the thing. The 'right' way for you will be different for someone else. The 'right' way for you might involve a few twists and turns to provide you with lessons along the path. The 'right' way for you might look totally alien to everyone else around you.
The 'right' way for you is the way you are doing it.
The ONLY way for you is to follow your own heart, your own instincts and that might mean that things don't look exactly the same as another person's process. And that is OK.
It takes courage to go your own way, it takes a deeper level of relationship with yourself which may at times feel daunting and out of your comfort zone, but this is a calling for you to cultivate a deeper level of trust in yourself. In your own inner guidance system.
Go your own way. Learn your own lessons. Be open to receive the guidance you require, but trust your own path.
This is how we grow. This is how we remember. This is how we return home.