Being held in space
There was a moment on my yoga teacher training that still stands out to me as magical. Well in fact there were a lot of magical moments, but this one in particularly gave me the most amazing feeling. We were being taught about meditation by the amazing Kadri Kurgun and it was the first time we got to lead a guided meditation - completely unplanned, just letting our words guide others.
It wasn't perfect, it wasn't anything spectacular in terms of the words I used, but I felt the immense power that came with creating a safe space for people.
Up until then I had heard this term to 'hold space' and I had never really understood it. But in that moment, with my small group of yogis sitting with their eyes closed in front of me, I felt the most incredible amount of energy between us as I literally held space around them for them to feel supported and guided.
It was utterly magical. I finally understood what it meant to hold space. And it was the most incredible feeling.
It gave me what I had been searching for. It gave me that purpose, that gift that I could offer others, that place I had been seeking in order to feel fulfilled and like I had found my place on the earth.
I realised so many of the things that bring me joy in life gravitate around a desire to create space for people to transform, to grow, to go inwards and to find what they need at that given moment. Whether it is in my coaching, my writing or my yoga teaching. Each element of the things I adore is about holding a beautiful space for people.
And while I absolutely adore creating this, I underestimated the energy that this can take out of you. It is without doubt the hardest thing that I have ever done, in the most joyful and spectacular way!
Yesterday I felt that I needed something to replenish my energy. (I wrote about it in a blog that you can read here if you haven't already) I wondered whether it was more sleep, or a little extra nourishment in terms of my nutrition, but I then realised that what I needed was to have someone hold space for me.
I needed, just for a little while, to be supported and held energetically in order for me to restore my energy levels, to go inward, to reconnect with my body and reconnect with my own practice. To let go of the space I was holding for others and simply be held.
I took myself to a beautiful reformer pilates session with the wonderful Emma from Focused Pilates. I walked in nature with my husband and my dog. I went to a workshop hosted at Neal's Yard Remedies in Sevenoaks to hear the amazing Rebecca Hirst from Glorious Wellness talk about health and nutrition. I then read an amazing blog post from an incredible coach, Leah Cox, and just reading her words created the space I needed to write this blog.
I was given the space to simply reflect, to be and to nurture myself.
Today has arrived full of renewed enthusiasm and energy. I cannot wait to create that wonderful space for my students and clients. By working on my own energy I am able to bring them so much more. It is the ultimate act of self care - and at no point should finding that space be deemed selfish or indulgent.
When we offer so much to others all of the time, whether it is in our career, as a friend or in caring for our family, it is so important for us to find our own space in order for continued growth and transformation. Recognising this and becoming aware is a huge part in our own transformations and something we truly deserve.
So while we each need to hold space for other people in this world, make sure there is also space for you. Whether that is going to an exercise class, booking a pampering treatment, talking to someone about ideas or worries that you might have, or even being guided through a meditation or a yoga practice using an online tool.
Just allow yourself to be held in space for a minute or so today.