Feeling into the sadness of today
Waking to hear the news that Britain has voted to leave the EU has shocked me to the core today. My heart feels a little broken right now and so I am dealing with in the way I know how. I write. When I feel any emotions I come to my words to comfort me and I hope that by doing this for myself, I can support and give some comfort to others. Being away from home at this time is hard. I feel totally disconnected from my beautiful world at home. I am the only British person here and never before have I craved the sound of an English accent so badly.
I know this fear and sadness will pass, but I also know that what I am feeling right now is totally valid. I am always one to celebrate change, however I am struggling with that today. I am struggling to see how this will affect the world that I call home.
The sadness I feel is not really mine though. The pain in my heart and the heaviness in my body is not about me. I know I will be OK whatever happens.
The sadness I feel is for others. It is for people not just in the UK, but all around the world who do not feel part of a community, or a collaborative force. My heart feels heavy for the lack of connection in an already disconnected world.
I feel that unity has been stolen from us. Personally I am at peace with uncertainty, but there are many people who are not and I am hurting for them. For their fear. For their anxiety. For their children. For their livelihoods. For their hearts.
However, even in this time when there seems to be only a little it of light, I have felt a real sense of pride when I step on to social media and feel the heartfelt passion and emotions that are coming through in people’s words.
It seems that for a second people have stopped with mindless updates complaining about the weather and are showing true vulnerability with their emotions. Their grief and passion is shining through. This gives me hope that there is still a chance to connect – maybe it is in a different way. Maybe, we can find strength in our uncertainty and bring people together even more?
I never expected to feel this way. Maybe it is because I am so far away and feeling homesick right now? In fact, while I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to be in an amazingly beautiful place right now – there is only one place I would like to be – and that is being embraced by my family and friends, at home.
But I am here for a reason and maybe that reason is so that I can bring my learnings and experience back to help unite and connect people in a way that helps them find them joy and happiness. In a way that makes them stronger to deal with the grief and the uncertainty of the world. In a way that frees them and gives them the confidence to bring more compassion and love to the world.
If there is one thing I have learned during my yoga teacher training, it is that humans crave connection and a feeling of belonging. No matter how independent someone is. I just hope that as a country, my home can somehow find a way to unite and connect even when it feels so isolated.
As I sat and looked at the power in the crashing waves this morning, I was reminded of something one of my best friends said to me a few weeks ago when I was feeling homesick. She said “remember that water goes all the way around the world and laps at the shores of Kent, so it is connecting you back to us.’
This connection is what I will be clinging to today, and always.