"If you want something you have never had, then you've got to do something you have never done." I was reminded of this quote this morning.
It made me think about how I have slipped back into a similar routine to what I used to have with my old business. The sitting for long periods of a time behind a computer screen, making myself busy, writing to-do lists that are generally un-realistic, same routine, slightly different approach to my business. Yes I am writing, creating and connecting with amazing people - all things that I love - but I started this new journey because I wanted a change in lifestyle, and right now - I am working the same hours, in the same space, and feeling that same little pull of wanting something different.
I know I can't sustain this AND stay passionate and excited about my work unless I tweak something. But yet here I am, sitting and waiting for this change to magically appear, kind of hoping that things will fall into my lap, because it is easier that way and less of an upheaval. I keep telling myself I want to go out with my laptop and work somewhere different - yet I keep coming up with every excuse under the sun NOT to do it!! I do believe in the law of attraction and that you have to trust that things will come to you - but I also believe in playing my own part in creating this magic. It has to be a fine balance of action and surrender. So this is me, calling myself out on my own shit... I am the only person who can make this happen!
There is a big part of me that fears making a change and taking a slightly different path. The unknown, the lack of planning, the 'where to start' questioning. The multiple 'what ifs...' that arise when I start to think about doing something unexpected. The inner-organiser in me is screaming... WRITE A GOD DAMN LIST WOMAN!
Yet there is also a part of me that fears what will happen if I DON'T make a change. Even just a teeny tiny modification in my daily routine. If I don't have the guts to do that, then how will I ever know what could have been? Nothing will ever change if I stay still. I would even prefer to take a step backwards over the feeling of being stuck and stagnant in one position for the rest of my life. Backwards, forwards, sideways... anything but in the same place.
My ego says... stay here, stay comfortable, stay safe... yet my heart is saying... be brave, be bold, be the beautiful, crazy, magical person that you know you can be... I DOUBLE DARE YOU!
So I come back to the quote... "If you want something you have never had, then you've got to do something you have never done."
What is going to be Beautiful?