Supporting Your Nervous System When Times Are Challenging

The biggest thing that is coming up for me, and for many others at the moment, is a general feeling of uncertainty and of asking ‘what next?’…

This constant feeling of not knowing is triggering off a sense of ‘un-safety’ - because for so long we have survived on our ability to plan, to ‘do’, to organise and effectively to control a lot of the outcomes in our lives.

Of course the argument would be that we have never really had control - but we have at least had aims and plans and things that have kept us focused on forward momentum.

But now… well… we don’t know do we? We didn’t know that this pandemic was going to happen, and we didn’t know how it would affect us. We thought we had a handle on what life was looking like, our routines, our work, our family life, our habits, our hobbies, our dreams… and then COVID-19 happened, the anti-racism awakening happened, other global wounds have been brought to the surface…

So much has happened that has pulled out the comfortable carpet that was under our feet and replaced it with very shaky ground.

So the first thing I want to say in this article is that, if you are feeling wobbly, anxious, unsettled, un-grounded - that is totally normal.

On a primal level our foundations have been rocked, our survival instinct has had to kick in and our nervous systems are on high alert.

Over the past few months, even the most grounded and centred people I know have struggled.

On a physiological level it makes sense. The levels of stress mentally, physically and emotionally that people have been under will have impacted our fight, flight or freeze response. Our survival mode. The problem with being in this mode for a long period of time is that it can deplete us physically, take it’s toll mentally, and lead to a variety of unwelcome responses to the emotions that are rising up.

For some people these signals that the body feels under threat will show up in obvious ways. Anxiety, panic, overwhelm, depression, intense amounts of fear.

But there are also some other ways that I have noticed it showing up within me - that I want to highlight to help you understand that if you too are experiencing this then it is not something to beat yourself up over. It is natural and instinctive.

These are some of the ways I see this showing up in myself, and in others. Of course it is not an inclusive list, but this is a selection…

Excessive worrying about finances. A foundational need for so many of us is to feel secure in our financial situation and even if you haven’t been directly impacted financially by the current situation - the overall collective feeling across the globe is of scarcity and lack. It is totally understandable if you feel nervous around money.

Staying in our comfort zones. The window of tolerance when it comes to stepping out of our comfort zone is lower - we may feel frustrated because before we could do things that felt a bit daunting, but also exciting - and these same things now trigger complete fear and panic.

Loss of self trust. Our sense of trust and confidence in our own instincts may not be as strong as it normally is - we might feel a little bit disconnected from that gut feeling and unsure if our decisions are the ‘right’ ones.

Super sensitive. If you are a highly sensitive person anyway, you might feel totally overwhelmed by your sensitivity now. If you didn’t consider yourself sensitive before but now feel things ‘get to you’ a lot more - that is understandable. Our nervous systems are on high alert.

Unsettled bodily functions. When we are in fight, flight or freeze response our body naturally de-prioritises some of our bodily functions. Things like digestion and reproduction are not deemed essential when we are under threat (they aren’t essential when we have to run from that saber tooth tiger) so you may notice that your digestion feels a bit out of whack and for menstruating women their cycles are all over the place.

Fatigue. You might feel generally exhausted without any obvious reason. Your body might feel heavy and lethargic - when we are in a stress response it takes up a lot of energy - so you may feel you need to rest a lot more than normal.

Numb. Numbing out is a coping mechanism when emotions are high. If you are empathetic or sensitive particularly - you may feel that you disconnect at times and feel nothing. This is another way of protection because sometimes the emotions just feel far too intense to cope with.

Comfort eating. Reaching for the chocolate more? Drinking more? It is common that we turn to food and drink when we are in highly emotional states because it is a welcome distraction, a moment of pleasure that can take our minds off of the bigger picture.

Creatively blocked. For creatives this time may feel really frustrating - while for some people there seems to be all this extra time to delve into a project - there also may just be a blank screen of inspiration when it comes to actually wanting to create. We need to be in a relaxed flow state to feel that spark of inspiration and in truth many people are just focusing on surviving each day.

Highs and lows. Your emotions may be on a rollercoaster ride right now. One minute high, the next minute low… one minute gratitude and appreciation, the next minute anger and frustration… one minute laughter, the next minute tears. I have never felt such highs and lows as during this last 4 months!

Comparisonitis. When we feel under threat and out of control, and especially when we see other people living ‘their best lives’ on social media - we are more likely to fall into the comparison trap and start to spiral in on ourselves because we may not be in the same place as them. This can spark negative self talk and criticism which just enhances our low mood.

Little things might trigger immense overwhelm. There are times when simply trying to think about the next meal to cook has catapulted me into a complete feeling of overwhelm and frustration.

Sleep problems. When we are in a heightened stress state our sleep hormones can go all over the place, so you might feel wired at night time, you may have vivid dreams, waking in the middle of the night worrying, more sensitive to sounds. Or perhaps you feel like you could sleep for days and days and yet still not feel rested. Sleep is one of the first things to become impacted when we are stressed - and this alone can have such a knock on effect in all areas of our lives.

So as you can see - there are many ways that your nervous system might be impacting your life right now.

So how can we support our nervous systems with all of this going on?

This is a selection of things you can do - but is certainly not exhaustive...

• Spend time in nature as much as possible - be with the trees, feet on the earth, get outside and breathe fresh air as much as you can. If this is not possible then make sure you have plants or an element of nature in your space at home to help connect you with this energy.

• Regulate your breath by counting to 4 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. If you feel yourself getting anxious bring yourself back to this gentle counting breath as an anchor. This will help to bring the nervous system back into a little bit of balance.

• Take note of your physical surroundings and speak them out loud to help you stay present. This has helped me many times when I have been on the edge of a panic attack.

• Journal without agenda - just write, write, write without thinking or planning or worrying about what we are writing. I have implemented a non negotiable journal time during COVID because otherwise I find my mind is just so full of clutter and worries - getting them out onto paper really helps me.

• Gratitude - it isn’t just a fad I promise. Making a list of things you are grateful for every morning and evening helps to rewire your brain to focus on the positives and help you feel more optimistic. I seriously notice the days when I don’t take the time to do it.

• Shake the body. Put on your favourite song and shake your feet, legs, hands, lips… entire body, and imagine you are shaking and releasing any fears or challenging emotions. Animals in the world shake off traumatic experiences - and we can use this technique too. It really helps get out of the head and into the body.

• Be discerning of what you consume online. Mute or unfollow anyone that makes you feel anxious or triggered, unsubscribe from any emails that don’t nourish you. Be mindful of where your online energy goes and focus it on things that make you feel good.

• Hold on to a crystal, or rock, or piece of wood - the tactile feeling of something in your hands can anchor you and help you feel safe. There are certain crystals that are excellent for grounding - my favourite is labrodite, but any crystal you are drawn is perfect.

• Focus on pleasure. Pleasureful experiences - whether that is intimate pleasure with yourself or a partner, pleasurable food, self touch, having a long bath, doing a dance practice that feels juicy and good on your body - are really powerful ways to soothe the nervous system and bring the focus away from negative sensations onto positive, replenishing ones.

• Speak with others. Connection is so important - and in a time when this has been lacking it is even more vital that we find ways to talk and share our worries with others. When we speak up about something it can be very freeing for us, but also for others who might feel similarly and be too scared to admit it.

• Move your body in a way that nourishes you. Exercise is powerful - but check in with what feels good. Some days a sweaty strengthening workout or power walk might feel good, other days a slow juicy dancefest in your bedroom might feel good. Choose exercise according to your body.

• Support your body with nourishing whole foods. I know it is tempting to skip this - but filling your diet with colourful, nutrient dense foods will undoubtedly help support your immune system and digestive function - which is especially important during times of stress.

• Meditation and Yoga Nidra - of course I can’t share this list without mentioning my favourites (even though I admit to only having done a couple of yoga nidras since lockdown) - but these practices are so beautifully healing and restorative. The more time we can spend activating the relaxation response, the more we signal to the body that we are ‘safe’.

Above all I think during these very challenging times, we need to be as gentle with ourselves as possible. I have been through so many moments when I felt like I was falling behind, or needing to do so much more, when actually I just needed to remind myself of the totally unprecedented circumstances we are in and just how challenging this is for our physical and emotional wellbeing.

We can't escape from the situation, but we can use all of our tools (and keep building that tool kit) to find ways to nurture our nervous system as we navigate these times.

I would love to hear from you if you find any of this supportive, so please do comment below if you feel called to.

I also have availability for one to one meditation and coaching sessions if you feel that you would like to explore any of this in a deeper way, please contact me to find out more.

Lx